No Direction

The title refers mostly to this post, and not to how I’m feeling in general. In fact, I feel like I’m moving inexorably towards the so-called American Dream, getting a job and making money and moving on with life. Don’t take that to mean I have a job yet, because I don’t. Offers are starting to manifest, however, and hopefully soon I’ll have choices to make. What would life be without worrying about things that can’t be decided yet, though, right? And so here I am.

Status as of today? Waiting for a contingent offer from a contractor (meaning, they’ll make me an offer based on a contract they hope to be granted; also meaning, if the contract isn’t won, there won’t be a job for me). Waiting for a job offer from NOAA, which has been in the “coming soon” for over a month now. Waiting for Peace Corps to find a soft match to an opening for me. And, still studying and working towards taking PRAXIS test, the scores of which, if high enough, will then enable me to apply for the DoD Dependents Schools program.

The call of travel is sounding loudly in my brain. I have a return ticket to Turkey, which will cost me a pretty penny to “reinstate” but still be cheaper than buying a new ticket. It means, of course, that I’ll have to figure a way  home: either another round-trip ticket, which will leave me hanging with another trip back overseas, or a possibly costly one-way ticket. Meanwhile, a Finnish friend and an Israeli friend from my Big Trip are steadily winning me over to traveling in the Philippines and possibly SE Asia again. I’m seriously pondering taking six weeks in May/June to go travel with them. I’m not quite sure what’s holding me back, other than an attraction to the idea of overlanding from Istanbul to Rome.

Here in “real life,” I’m studying, cooking, researching and teaching English to adult immigrants. That last is going pretty well; I’m learning a lot about teaching, and teaching English, just through the experience. My Peace Corps interview was yesterday and left me feeling fairly uncertain as to whether they’ll be able to find a place for me or not, which on the one hand completely shocks me, but on the other matches my fear perfectly, my fear of not really being able to find a job. Which is absurd, but there you go.

A recent trip to Miami made me feel quite close to family, which got me going to plan and book a trip to see another part of the family in March. At that time I’ll also see some friends in Colorado, which will be very nice. I’m hoping not to be snowed out of this trip, since I bought it all in one-way, cheap and non-refundable tickets.

And so my brain spins in many directions but settles on none. Typical, typical!

--Z