Changes Changes Everywhere

 After six months of living in the U.S., I'm finally feeling settled in. Highlights of being back in the U.S. include:

#1 - Reconnecting with friends and family has been the best part of being back. From attending local events to traveling to celebrating the new year, I've really enjoyed being a simple phone call away from hanging out with people close to my heart. 

#2 - Enjoying the seasons and trees! I loved Cambodia, but Phnom Penh did not have much in the way of green space. My neighborhood is lovely to behold in every season so far, with so many trees and bushes and flowers in the summer, to gorgeous leaves in the fall, and now majestic skeletons in winter. I can't wait to see what spring will bring!

#3 - Getting back into cooking! I'm focusing on healthy habits and part of that is knowing exactly what's going into my body. I'm having fun with finding and trying out new recipes. 

And now, on to a photographic review of the time between my last blog post and this one!

Birthday breakfast to celebrate my 44th
orbit around the sun!

My amazing grandmother right before her
101st birthday!

Lake Superior makes my feet look so young!

Enjoyed the great outdoors with
my adorable parents. 

Early voting!

Halloween: candy and eyeballs for the kiddies!

Visual and interactive digital 
art in Boston - that's my eyeball!

Enjoying technological art in Boston!

Thanksgiving is for family!

Cruising to the Bahamas

Miami is for soaking feet in pools.

Jacques' and my first winter in a long time...

Culinary adventures: roasted fennel 
and white bean soup.

Early morning walks mean early morning skies.

Winding Down in Cambodia & Surrounds

 It's hard to believe I've been in Cambodia nearly three years, but it's true! And now it's that exciting, bittersweet, lonely time, the time to say final good-byes and have farewell meals and go see those last few things. And time to look forward and wonder what life will be like in just a few short months as I settle in at my new assignment in the DC area. 

It's exciting to look both backwards - look at all that I've experienced in the past three years! - and plan for my homecoming with family and friends, a new place to live, starting a new assignment. There's a bittersweet edge as well, to consider all those things I didn't get around to, the people I didn't get to know better. And there's always the question, as a foreign service officer, will I like going domestic after nearly seven years abroad?

And it's lonely, because no matter who helps, or encourages, or advises; no matter how much support I get for my move (and it's a LOT); no matter how prepared I am... I'm doing it by myself. Well, not completely alone, because Jacques will be with me. On the plane, during the layover, upon landing - it's just me. And emotionally, too: saying good-bye is a lonely business! Every single time. 

On the other hand, once through customs, I'll pick up Jacques at baggage claim and then find my friend who is picking me up at the airport. And a whole new adventure will begin and I will not be alone, and all that the U.S. has to offer will be waiting for me. 

I can't wait! And there will always be my memories, some captured in digital photos and others in the corners of my mind and heart. 

What a life...

Saturday Grumps Reset

Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Well, not really, I almost always sleep on the same side of my bed, but you know what I mean. Groggy and grumpy, even a dog-walk with friend T and dog-friend M didn't lift my spirits. After a 45-minute session with my myotherapist, however, I felt, literally, reset. 

It's a 5 block walk in 90-degree weather with 53% humidity, so one would think this would set the grumps right back on track, but it really didn't. Maybe because it's cloudy so the heat didn't feel like laser beams on my skin? In any case, I felt a bit lighter on the walk home, which let me see some fun street scenes. I didn't take pictures, but here's what I saw, and enjoyed seeing: 

Two shirtless Cambodia men, older with slight paunches, sitting on small plastic chairs under an umbrella, playing chess with pieces that were quite tall. 

A coffee stand surrounded by and filled with plants, giving a very verdant vibe, with a sign next to the cash register that said “Life won’t sparkle until you do" among other motivational posters. 

A Cambodian woman, covered from head to toe with floppy hat, long sleeves, gloves, pants, socks, and shoes, sitting on her parked moto with three similarly dressed little girls behind her, all intently watching a shirtless Cambodian man water plants with a hose. 

Two hopeful tuk-tuk drivers leaning towards me as they were driving past, asking, "Tuk-tuk madame?" without slowing their speed, smiling slightly when I shook my head. 

It's funny how just observing the world around me in the moment can be so pleasing. It's easy to forget to get out of my own head, out of my own way, so that I can do this more. 

Laos Photography Tour - Part I

Nothing like rebooting the blog after almost half a year, by using it as a space to show off some photos!

I'm doing a photography tour in Laos with Nathan Horton Photography (link is to this particular tour). My group has seven other photographers plus Nathan and Lao guides, the first of whom is Phonsy (pronounced Pon-see). We all met Monday night in Luang Prabang at Sanctuary Luang Prabang Hotel on day one of the tour, a lovely space with comfy rooms and gorgeous grounds. Many of the other photographers have done multiple tours with Nathan as well as other photography tours... I'm definitely the baby!

Day 2: Luang Prabang

On the first morning, we headed out at 5:30am to observe and capture the daily morning ritual called 'Tak Bat', or giving alms to the monks. After that we had a quick coffee break, then headed to a local market. Back at the hotel, I got a one-on-one technical overview from Nathan on the basics of photography, tricks and tips for my DSLR cameras (I have two, only because one was declared lost with my shipment to Cambodia and later found!), and a very basic tutorial on using Adobe Lightroom Classic. After a bit of relaxing and lunch, we were off to see Heuan Chan Heritage House, where we had a few models in traditional dress to photograph. We took the two lovely (and patient!) ladies to Wat Xiengthong, with beautiful reflective mosaic exteriors as well as gorgeous golden inlay doors. 

This is my first photography tour and it was fascinating to have Nathan there to give pointers on settings and backdrop and composition. Being the newest, it took me awhile to ask questions - it's intimidating! - but he told me that if I didn't, he'd assume I was good to go. So... I asked a lot of questions, and he was a patient and fun teacher. 

We then walked through a local street market and headed off to Mount Phousi, from which we watched the sunset along with a couple hundred other tourists. This also began what I have dubbed Nathan Horton's Boot Camp - in the next few days we would climb many stairs and hills, getting a great workout. 

Tak Bat

Tak Bat

Tak Bat

Street market goods

Street market goods

Traditional dress at Heuan Chan Heritage House

Traditional dress at Heuan Chan Heritage House

Wat Xiengthong

A family returns from their temple visit

Sunset from Mount Phousi

Day 3: Luang Prabang & Around

Today was a long but exciting day! We began with another go at capturing almsgiving. I struggled in the early morning darkness but found some fun angles as sunlight started saturating the sky. Then it was a box breakfast on the drive to Kuang Si Waterfall, where we arrived before anyone else and so got a lot of time to fiddle with nature and water shots. I learned about neutral density filters and how limiting a crappy tripod can be. When I got frustrated not getting the type of shots everyone else seemed to be getting, I remembered to ask questions... and Nathan loaned me his tripod and showed me how to use my neutral density filter and utilize a time lapse. Later, we visited a H'Mong village and stopped a few times during our drive to photograph Lao countryside and farmers. In the afternoon, we spent a few hours on a boat, cruising up the Mekong River and enjoying fantastic weather. The boat took us to the Pak Ou caves on a cliff facing the river and housing a variety of Buddha statues. On the way back, the boat stopped at a small, abandoned island temple, and then we caught sunset back in Luang Prabang. We ended with a fantastic dinner of local foods. 

Tak Bat amidst luxury

Kuang Si Waterfall (and my first try at using a neutral density filter with time lapse!)

Side of the road farmer

Ban Xangkhong Artisan village and H'Mong
traditional wear

H'Mong traditional wear (and joy!)

H'Mong traditional wear on kids

Pak Ou cave shrine

Luang Prabang pier and the elusive F22 starburst

Day 4: Drive to Phonsavan in XiengKhuang Province

Today we drove along twisting mountain roads to get to Phonsavan in XiengKhuang Province. We stopped regularly to capture the countryside and to visit a Hmong village. Lunch was at a very local place with delicious noodles. Because the roads are in very poor condition, the drive took longer than expected - we were on the road for over six hours!

Roadside stop

Kitchen at our lunch stop

Ban Phouthat Hmong woman with traditional
instrument

Ban Phouthat Hmong woman in traditional wear

Day 5: Plain of Jars

Up before sun today to drive and take a short hike to the first Plain of Jars site. These Iron Age-era jars marked burial sites but not much more is known about who used them or how the jars were transported to over 90 sites, each with unique tribes of local peoples. We visited three different sites, of just seven that are safe to visit. The others have not yet been cleared of unexploded ordinance remaining from the U.S. bombing of Laos in the second half of the 1960s. Did you know that Laos is the most heavily bombed country in history per capita? I didn't, until visiting the Mines Advisory Group (MAG) museum, which simply lays out the devastating impacts of this terrible fact. We also visited a huge Buddha statue.

Sunrise at Plain of Jars site #2

Plain of Jars

Short hike to Plain of Jars site #3

Plain of Jars site #3

Phonsavan temple with Buddha

View from Plain of Jars site #1

Plain of Jars site #1

Sunset at Plain of Jars site #1

Cruise Control

 Not much to write today. Last weekend and this one I've been taking it easy, so nothing exciting to report. Last week I made sleep a priority, after realizing (with the help of my FitBit) that I was getting an average of less than seven hours a night. I know myself, and eight a night would have me at my best. This has also been an opportunity to practice setting reasonable goals, as opposed to 'perfect' goals. At a gut level, I want to set my goal at eight hours a night. However, I'm thinking back to some advice a health coach gave me once: don't set goals to be perfect; set them to improve. Although it feels antithetical to me, I set my goal at seven hours a night. And in my first week, I achieved that goal five times out of seven. Woot! I'm going to continue with this as my goal until I get seven nights in a row. I'm not sure what the next goal will be, but I'll try to make it a baby step further... maybe two weeks with seven hours a night. 

Other news: three weekends ago, I went on a nice trip to Kirirom with Jacques and two girlfriends and another dog. We had a nice 3-day weekend of the outdoors: drinking wine by the river, hiking, horseback riding, and fresh air. Also, I recently booked myself a special trip in late November, a two-week photography tour of Laos. 

With that, here are a few fun photos from recent exploits:

Trying to get dogs to take a selfie is hard!

Cute little Japanese restaurant in Phnom Penh
called Eeny Meeny Miny Mo has this
fun wall mural.

Giddy-up, Kirirom.

Hidden, Hiding

Left caption: Poor Lifechoices Coach
Right caption: Financial Ruin Advisor

 

I mentioned before how Eriq was largely an unknown to me, beyond what he chose to share. At the time, what he shared seemed like a lot: he spoke frankly about his past and current struggles with addiction and mental illness, a reckless lifestyle, living homeless on the streets of L.A. He also talked about his preferred future, which included being surrounded by adopted young people, appreciating the bounty of each day, and enjoying the simple things in life. He asked for help on some things but refused it or denied needing it in others. 

When we put on a solo art show for Eriq's work in order to raise money for his cremation, I looked anew at his art, wondering what I'd missed, and how. One man that had delivered food to Eriq routinely stopped by the art show, and was stunned by it; and not in a good way, necessarily. He had only known what Eriq showed him: a bright, funny, kind disposition, with depth and love enough that the deliveryman had purposely carved out fifteen, twenty minutes in his route just so he could stop and chat when he delivered Eriq's food. [Contextual note: in Phnom Penh, food delivery is extremely common from all kinds of restaurants and food prep businesses.] This man said he saw hurt and pain in Eriq's works, and he couldn't reconcile that with the man he'd known, in brief snippets. 

In the photo at the top of this post, there are two works hanging next to each other. Eriq did so many of these types of characters, often with distorted facial features. These are more rounded and realistic that the ones he was working on recently. I once asked him if they were self-portraits and he immediately responded with, "No. No. Well, not intentionally. I suppose all my art shows something of myself. But no, definitely not a self portrait." It's hard, though, not to wonder if his characters were all different ways Eriq saw himself or aspects of himself, whether intentional or not. The labels below are his quirky imaginings, which were on many of his smaller sketches and works. Eriq's labels were often quirky and playful, the lighter side of his art, in my opinion.  

Below are a couple of pieces I want to share; how they make me feel; and some anecdotes around them. In a video he made showing his artistic process on the above piece, Eriq starts out: "Well. I was watching Instagram this morning, like a fool." He goes on to to demonstrate how he goes about deciding what comes next. He also shows another silhouette he was working on and commented that while he liked it, there was "nothing challenging going on." The eight minute video ends with, "It's messy, it's not like they show on Instagram. They're lying to you." This video was made ten days before Eriq died. 

One of Eriq's last, unfinished
pieces.

I remember seeing this piece in his studio and feeling kinda freaked out by it. It bothered me, partially due to its unfinished look with the guideline sketches changing weekly, partially because of the vivid red colors, and partially because of the monster-like features. I decided to purchase it, and now it lives in my closet, hidden behind hanging clothing, to be brought out when I need reminding that an unfinished work - like Eriq himself, maybe - contains a whole lot more than the initial impression given. 

 

Possibly unfinished. Seen in
multiple orientations.

This is another unfinished work. I know this because when Eriq was finished, his paintings were covered in clear epoxy; this one is not. The texture of the red, the gorgeous teal background, that odd, messy shape. What is it? Why is it that way? This piece also made me feel uncomfortable when I saw it in Eriq's studio during classes or visits. It feels forbidding to me. Now, I can't help but feel that it's symbolic somehow; anger, rage, hurt, blood, turmoil, burning smoke roiling... was this how Eriq felt inside? The lens he struggled through? 

I don't remember seeing this one before. It felt
both bright and dark to me.

My first impression with this piece is that of a tumbleweed, or something like, blowing across the yellow field behind. Others said it evoked a heart with thick skin, or damaged exterior. The yellow is bright, layered, and a bit more consistent than my photo shows. The red and brown object is made of painted, layered, torn or crumpled paper. The entire thing has a clear coat of epoxy over it and the piece is quite large. Looking at it, I feel confused. It's not something I can relate to 'before'.