New Year, New Adventure

Just two days left of work at NOAA, then a weekend, and then it's off to the Foreign Service races! I can't believe it's finally here...

The last few weeks have been lovely: 

- lots of shopping with a style-savvy friend to stock up my business professional wardrobe

- the fabulous parental units came up to DC to spend Dec 25-28 with me, during which time we cooked and checked out museums and talked and laughed. It was an excellent long weekend! 

- much pondering, worrying, anticipating, and wondering about my new career path

- meeting other local hires in my Foreign Service orientation class, including returned Peace Corps volunteers, current State Dept employees, and amazing work experiences and personalities

- a quiet and warming new year's eve spent with a good friend eating ravioli and watching movies

- organizing a few welcome wagon activities for folks in my class flying in to DC this week/weekend

And now, it's just a few days away! I've found a group to carpool to training with, which will be nice. Our first day, though, we'll all get to "Main State" on our own. That's the nickname of the Department of State (DOS) main administrative building. There we'll get processed into DOS, including badges and myriads of other paperwork. 

On day two, we'll head for the Foreign Service Institute (FSI) in Arlington, VA, and that's when orientation really begins. I don't really know what to expect!

It's a grand adventure ahead, and I find that saying my goodbyes at NOAA, while bittersweet, also intensifies my excitement about joining the Foreign Service. I will, however, seriously miss the incredible people I've worked with over the past several years. It's the side of satellite technology and weather prediction that goes unseen by most of the public, but I can tell you firsthand that the women and men who make satellite data accessible on a 24x7x365 basis, and get that data to the folks who use it, are a determined, dedicated, funny, and incredibly big-brained group. 

It seems trite and cliché to type this, but I'll do it anyway: it was truly my honor to have gotten the chance to work, learn, and grow at the NOAA Satellite Operations Facility, with old friends and new, government and military and contractor. Thank you to any and all who welcomed me to their team at the NSOF!

Turning the Corner

It's been a stressful two weeks.

The prospect of A-100, the Foreign Service training that I'll start in January, has been one big factor. I've gotten the formal appointment letter, and turned in all the paperwork, but there's a part of me that's pretty anxious.

Then there are the fibroids that sent me to the emergency room and three different follow-up doctor's visits. That caused a momentary hitch in the Foreign Service paperwork as I waited for the State Department medical folks to review the new medical records and give my medical clearance the thumbs up.

During that eight day period, there were graduate classes to attend (Intro to Economics and Intercultural Communications this semester), final papers to write for each, and a final exam to take for Economics.

Just when State sent confirmation that my clearance was still good to go, the U.S. postal service brought me a summons for jury duty, for January, of course. Three hours of panic later, I discovered that DC allows deferral of jury duty for up to ninety days. There is a strict 100% attendance policy for A-100, but later training is more flexibly scheduled, so my plan is to defer as far out as possible.

This weekend a good friend took me shopping and I filled my closet with formal business-wear, the required dress code for A-100. Yay!

Today, my credit card was locked out because someone, somewhere, attempted to make multiple purchases with it on various websites, ranging from $1 to $500. Boo!

Whew.

Finally, now all I've got to do is... wait. The next four days are vacation: my folks are coming up to visit, which will be great! Next week will be a three-day week at work, and the week after that will be my last at NOAA. Hard to believe...

But my imagination has started to run wild, and worry is edging some of the excitement out. This is a huge career - and life - change. I could be living overseas four months from now, or maybe a year from now, or sometime in between. Where? Will I like it? Is it going to be dangerous? Will there be interesting and friendly people there? Will I be lonely? Is this the right move for me?

A million questions and worries and futile stabs at guessing the future are milling around in my mind. I'm finding it hard to focus, at home or at work. Sleep is somewhat difficult; eating habits are depending on delivery food; and I snap irrationally at people and have been experiencing more driving frustration than usual. Excitement. Anticipation. Fear. Longing. This is not a restful holiday season, oh no.

It's a wild, wild ride.

Going Global Again

My life is changing direction, people. In a good way, in a big way, in a global way!

The short story: Starting in mid-January, I will be changing careers, from an IT and Contract specialist with NOAA (which has been an amazing experience with incredible people) to a Foreign Service Officer, a diplomat, for the State Department.

The long story:

In summer 2013, my good friend Jeff looked deep into my eyes with a serious, no-nonsense look on his face, and said:

"Oh, please. Shut up and go apply." There was a long, silent pause, and although they didn't move, I could hear my dad silently applauding and see my mom's knowing smile.

We had been talking about my initial resistance to applying for the State Department's Foreign Service. I'd been voicing my concerns (self-doubt) and reluctance to take the entrance test. Jeff shut that down in a hurry and, after a few months of hemming and hawing, I signed up on the State Department website so that I would be notified of the next opportunity to take the test.

As it turned out, I didn't take the Foreign Service Officer Test (FSOT) right away. It's offered three times a year, generally in February, June and October. I skipped the October test in favor of getting a semester of International Relations classes under my belt. This helped me to decide that yes, this is a field I'm very interested in, and yes, I think I'll apply for the Foreign Service.

In February 2014 I took the test. It had four parts to it: the multiple choice section, which had question topics ranging from pop culture to world geography to history to US political system; then there was the Background Information section, for which I was completely unprepared, having spent my time studying for the multiple choice section; and there was a grammar section. Lastly, there was an essay prompt. Every section was timed, though I don't recall feeling rushed on anything except the Background Information part.

Then that was it... hurry up and wait. The military conditioned me to this particular game, so I was caught by surprise when the e-mail came, two and a half weeks later, to tell me I'd passed. Barely. But barely doesn't matter in this case; you either pass or you don't. I then had about four weeks to submit Personal Narratives: seven essays of a very specific, limited length, explaining my skills and experiences in various ways dictated by prompts. I submitted my essays in March, the day they were due.

You guessed it: hurry up and wait time again! About six weeks later, I received an e-mail congratulating me on making it to the next round: the Foreign Service Oral Assessments (FSOA). The process allows you to schedule this event within a 3-4 month period, and I chose to give myself two months to prepare. I joined a DC-area study group, which met weekly and was immensely helpful, and attended a "Diplomat-in-Residence Oral Assessment Info Session" which was insightful.

August arrived and in I went for a full-day interview process. The FSOA is comprised of three main parts, which in turn break down into sub-parts. Basically, there's a group exercise (which has the group exercise part and an individual briefing part), a Case Management exercise (individual test), and a Structured Interview (with Experience and Motivation, Hypothetical situation, and Past Behavior question sections). I got to meet ten other Foreign Service Officer candidates, many of whom were impressive. Age, experience, ethnicity and education levels varied widely. Five of us passed, just under half. No waiting this time: we found out at the end of the very long day.

The next steps were to obtain my medical and security clearances. The medical was fairly easy, just setting up a few appointments with the State Department medical folks and get them records from recent doctor's visits. Security worried me, since I'd traveled so much and been unemployed for a good chunk of time. After my initial security interview and filling out a detailed questionnaire about where I'd been, who I'd met, where I'd lived, etc, for the past ten years, I settled in for the wait, sure that it would be months before I heard anything further.

I received a letter barely two months after I submitted my security paperwork, letting me know I'd made it into the hiring register. Just under two months later, I received my invite to A-100 for January 2015.

It's been a wild ride, but nothing compared to many others I've met who have taken and retaken the tests and interviews, waiting for an offer that never came. My entire process took just about ten months, and that is pretty fast from what I can tell.

What's next? Next is A-100, or "Generalist Class," which lasts for six weeks. In week five I will find out where they'll post me (most likely in an embassy out in the world somewhere) and what I'll be doing. Where I'm posted will determine what follow-on training will be given, possibly including area studies, language training, and job-specific training. This could last three weeks or it could last a year, depending.

And then, I'll be off: off into the world to live and work abroad as a U.S. diplomat, with 2-3 year assignments.

The paperwork is formidable.

The possibilities are thrilling and terrifying.

The excitement is incredible.

Here I go!

--Z

Another Year!

I'm now 34.

Interesting connections:
3 - Zoë
4 - Rose

Coincidence? I think not!

And, 3+4=7, which is a lucky number.

In any case, another year whizzed by, and I have to say, life is good. Work keeps me busy and engaged, alternately satisfied and not, but almost always interesting and with challenges there for the taking.

Summer vacation from grad school is also fantastically satisfying! I'm reading three books at the moment (Jules Vernes' "The Mysterious Island," Max Brooks' "World War Z," and Sonia Sotomayor's "My Beloved World."So much fun! My CSA delivers yummy veggies each week, living with Cody and Joe is fun, the Foreign Service process is going well, and basically all is well in the world!

There are some harder things, of course: aging grandparents; impending move in October (to a new apartment, or finding a new roommate); frustration with getting into shape and losing weight; the itch to travel, travel travel ever present.

All in all though, life is pretty darned good. The past year has been a real kick with finding a new educational interest and possible career direction, and wrestling with life decisions and self-perceptions and ideas of the future. Looking forward to a year of amazingness, now!

~Z~

Exciting Days, Exhausting Days

The last few weeks have been exciting, fulfilling, frustrating and exhausting. School keeps me on my toes and stretches my mind as I read, write, and pontificate, and I'm three weeks away from finishing my first year as a graduate student at American University. Meanwhile, work has been ramping up in two different veins: a big contract activity I'm involved with as well as preparing for a satellite launch. Both culminated this week and went well, I'm happy to report! In other news, I passed the first round of State Department FSO testing and stressed for three weeks about writing essays for the second round. Hopefully in a week or two there'll be news about whether I've made it to round three. In a few weekends Passover will take me to North Carolina to celebrate with the family and a few weeks after that my cousin's wedding will take me to Florida. Living with two roommates has settled into a good experience but brings stress in that they'll be moving out at the end of the lease (July 31) so it's time to start looking for a new place to live, probably on my own again.

All this has me constantly trying to catch my breath, but it's a fun, wild ride!

Lots Happening, Nothing Changing

It's been five months and a lot - and nothing - has happened. How so, you ask? Here, let me tell you!

In late December I got on a plane and headed to Myanmar (Burma) with a group of undergraduates also attending American University. We spent two weeks in Yangon (Rangoon) and Mandalay, speaking with various education spokespersons, from teachers to students, debate club organizers to volunteers, government committee members to translators. All had hope and all were resigned to slow progress. There was much discussion of revolution versus reformation. Overall I was incredibly impressed with the fortitude, determination and optimistic views of everyone I met. And of course, I was bowled over by the unique culture of a new place. It was really an adventure and while I'd love to say more now, I'm not quite ready to process it all out loud yet!

I'm now in my second semester of graduate school, studying away for a degree in International Relations at American University. The first two classes were challenging and fascinating and although completely different, this semester's classes can be described, overall, in the same way: challenging and fascinating. I'm taking "International Studies: History, Theory, Practice" and "Security from within the State." Up until just recently both have been largely philosophical and, oddly, introspective.

Just last weekend I took the Foreign Service Officer test for the State Department. I have no real sense of how I did, although there's a nagging feeling that it was good enough. Nevertheless, I remain hopeful as I wait - impatiently, of course - for the results of the test, which will take 3-6 weeks to come out. If I did pass, there will be two additional phases prior to going through background, security and medical checks. Each phase is competitive, meaning if I don't pass one, I would have to wait a year and then start from the beginning. Whew!

Meanwhile, work in general goes along well, although there are rumors at some organizational changes that I'm not sure I care for. I continue to want to do well and progress, while at the same time knowing that this isn't my permanent home in terms of a career. This May I will come up on a personal milestone of paying off my military time and thus gaining eight years towards federal service, putting me at ten years service as of July. For some reason this stands out to me as a key milestone, although in reality ten years - while better than just two! - is not indicative of any great achievement or reward.

On the home front, my friend Joe has returned from his deployment and is visiting Cody for a few weeks. He'll go back to Colorado Springs to work out his employment situation, hopefully getting a job set up for the general DC area, and then will possibly move back in with me and Cody until the lease is up this summer. I have no idea what I'll do then, since they'll most likely move to their own place and I really can't afford this apartment on my own. The idea of a shedding "stuff" and finding a small apartment for myself is attractive. Moving again is not.

With Joe's return I also realize, in completely immature fashion, that I'm single and, for lack of making an effort otherwise, likely to stay that way. Most times this doesn't bother me. Ok, perhaps not completely true, but most times I don't let it bother me too much. It's harder when you become the third in a living space alongside a couple. I know this from past experience, yet I failed to recognize the likelihood of its impact on me. For example, today I've acted like a complete jerk towards both Joe and Cody, for no reason other than my own self-loathing in this regard. If that sounds harsh, it's because my mood is foul and I'm not very unforgiving of my own crabbiness, especially when it's so selfish and baseless. I don't loathe myself; instead, I have no idea why it bothers me so much that I'm single. If it really mattered, wouldn't I do something about it?

Everyone says 'there's time' and that it'll 'happen when I least expect it' and to 'relax.' I can't figure out if it's really important to me, or if so why (because society says so or because finding someone is truly important to me or because I want a family). Also, what should I do about it anyway? Move to a place with a better ratio? (DC is notorious for having a terrible ration for women.) Having recently made a half-assed effort to go out with someone, just to be shot down (and realize that he's not right for me anyway), it just seems sort of silly. After all, I'm making all the efforts to find a career I'll be happy in, that will get me traveling or living abroad and into a subject area I'm passionate about. Obviously the ability to at least attempt to improve my situation in that respect is there. So why not in this other aspect of my life?

*sigh* So, as I said at the beginning of this post: it's been five months since I've written, and while a lot has happened... absolutely nothing has changed.

--Z

NOTE: I'm in a mood. I'm sad. I've been a jerk to my roommates for no reason and am feeling bad about it. In no way am I as down as I sound, overall. It's just the moment I'm currently in.

A Surprising Thought

It happened at Panera, of all places.

After a weekend dedicated to reading dense research papers and scrabbling to think like a student again, my vision was blurry and my mind confused. Just a week into American University's international relations program, I'm realizing just how long it's been since challenging myself this way. (Neither here nor there, but it's been about seven years!) It's a whole different kind of challenge and one that has had me alternately fascinated and melting down.

Any lingering readers may think I'm being melodramatic and I wouldn't necessarily argue that. However, it's been an exhausting effort trying to dredge up (and get current on) knowledge of citations and scholarly language, learning new research principles and applying them to an attempt to find a "puzzle" in the world to attempt to solve via my quantitative methods class, and then submitting a coherent research proposal ... well, it made me question my leap back into the academic world.

Back to the subject of this blog post, though - and as I said, it happened at Panera. I was having dinner with my roommate, Cody, and he was talking about taking a vacation and going somewhere new and exotic. He's fresh out of the Army, waiting to (hopefully) start a new job in the near future, and has lots of free time. Anyway, when he mentioned haring off somewhere in the world, I had a brief flashback to when I would tell people of my plans or hopes to travel and how the most common response was, "I wish I could do that."

Here's the surprise: that was not my immediate response. My immediate response was, "That's fun, but I'm happy where I'm at."

Whoa. I mean, whoa!

Since moving back to DC over a year ago, most of my efforts have been to get out, do new things, meeting new people, and figure out where I'm going next. To that end I researched the State Department and considered taking their Foreign Service Officer test; applied to the Department of Defense Education Activity (teaching dependents at military bases overseas); and began a Master's program to get educated in international relations so that I might qualify for and learn of opportunities abroad. So it's always been about where I'm going as opposed to where I'm at.

And it still is, but perhaps a little less so. For now, I'm actually pretty happy challenging myself with academics and living a good life in DC with a new roommate.

Life is good!

Summer Arrival

The month of May brought some teasers for summer - warmth and rain, followed quickly by downright cold weekends. If the past four days of 90+ degree weather is any indication, though, I believe I can say with assurance that summer has arrived and is here to stay!

With summer come many changes, the first being one of address! That's right, I've applied, been approved for, and signed the lease on a new apartment. I can't take any credit for having found the place, though. Cody, my future roommate, was visiting DC with Joe and Jeff, and we all went apartment hunting together. Of course, first we had to go to the farmer's market, my regular Saturday morning routine, and there Cody pointed out some nice windows overlooking the market and said he wished we could live there.

Long story short, we went in and asked, looked at their one available apartment, and after seeing half a dozen other places the same day, decided to apply for it! The price is right and the location is perfect, the building is new and has all sorts of good amenities. I'm going to spend the month of June moving (paying double rent, unfortunately, but at least it lets me do a leisurely job of moving!) and Cody will move in early July. Yahoo! Pictures when we're moved in!

Otherwise, not too much happened in May. Cody, Jeff and Joe visited one weekend, and Jeff came back another weekend to hang out. I went clothing shopping and actually found some good stuff thrifting with Mandy. My CSA started and the first two deliveries were lots of fun; I'm looking forward to a season of yummy fresh stuff! Exercise routine has gone by the wayside, of course, although I've been mostly eating pretty healthy. I've gone on a few bike rides, which were fun.

Next weekend is Virginia Beach with family and friends, which ought to be great!

That's the news that is fit to print... work is still going well, the feet are still hurting, and in general life is pretty decent!

--Z

Back on the Wagon

 

What wagon, you may ask? Well, a couple of them:

This week I haven’t eaten out once this week! I went a little nuts at Whole Foods last weekend, and have been cooking for myself all week. Some dishes I made include a broccoli slaw coleslaw with homemade dressing; stir-fry with mushrooms and tempeh, brussells sprouts braised in white wine, citrus collard greens, pasta with fresh asparagus… yum! I don’t know that I’ll be losing any weight but at least I’m eating well!

I’ve been working out, doing P90X with a friend of mine. While I don’t see any change yet, various muscles throughout my body feel pretty worked out! That sweet, good ache; the twinges when I reach for or lift something; and in general, the energy level is up!

Reading! Oddly enough, it’s been a dry couple of months where I haven’t read a darned thing! A co-worker and I traded books and now I’m reading “The WInd Up GIrl” by Paolo Bacigalupi, a sci-fi bio-punk set in Bangkok. It’s fun to read and reminds me of my time in Thailand, which is a great side effect.

It’s not exactly a wagon, but I’m working on finding a two- or three-bedroom row-house or apartment to move into this summer… in other words, I’m going back to having a roommate! A few things prompted this: mostly, a friend of mine is moving to town; but also, I think I’m finally ready to take that step and have a roommate again, have someone to chat with and talk to, and share my space with!

Those are my wagons, I suppose. Otherwise, I’ve been enjoying the nice weather when it’s here. Spring may have finally arrived because we’re getting rain and humid warmth now and again. Every Sunday I go enjoy the drum circle in a nearby park. I’m hoping to start swimming regularly – at least once a week, hopefully more. And tomorrow I’m going to Spa World, which I’m TOTALLY ready for!

--Z--

The Secret of Dancing

Over the last four weeks I’ve been spending quite a bit of time with a particular girlfriend of mine. She’s fantastic – energetic, positive, artsy, funny and thoughtful – and we’ve done many random things together: spent a day at a Korean spa in Virginia; brunched together more than once; gone fabric hunting for a sewing project of hers; watched the Socky Horror Puppet Show at a neighborhood bar; and danced the night away. She’s such an individual and I admire her very much.

Most of all, I was with her when I had a bit of an epiphany: there is no right way to dance. Why did it take me so long to figure this out? Why didn’t I believe people who told me that anyone could dance? Seriously! How the heck did this elude me?!

Don’t get me wrong – there are specific ways to dance that are right and wrong. I make no claim to know how to salsa, rhumba, or tango. And there are ways of dancing that probably look dumber than others. But really, just going to a club and dancing to its music boils down to one cliché method: dance like no one is watching. [I’m imagining a groan emanating from anyone reading this, but hear me out.]

Watching this friend of mine dance her heart out to some kind of odd but invigorating “psychotropical punk rock” music in a club underneath a Subway on U Street. It was like she was in her own little world; in fact, a space cleared around her (not that it was too crowded, but still) as she moved, bounced, shook and danced. Now, she can move – she’s a dancer, has done it a lot and has smooth moves; but still, there was no prescription of how to do it right. While most people were shuffling from one foot to another, the occasional arm shooting upwards to point at the band or at the ceiling in rhythmic music, my friend – and a one or two others – were just going nuts with the dancing, following the beat as they heard it, moving to the music as they felt it.

How cool is that?

The secret of dancing is that there is no right way to move to the music. YOUR way is the right way, possibly only for you but still, the right way. MY way, as fumbling and erratic and awkward as I feel I must look in a crowd of regulars, is the right way.

Who knew? Am I the only one who didn’t know?

In other news, that night of dancing wrecked my feet. I’ll be checking in with the podiatrist next week to see what can be done. Tonight some German couchsurfers arrive; on Friday, a couple from Spain. This weekend I look forward to visiting with my friends Jeff and Eric, here in DC for an OutServe function on Saturday. In the coming weeks I hope to hear that Congress has decided to stop punishing the country for having elected them (in other words, I hope not to be furloughed from work).

The past month, aside from hanging out with my cool, quirky and dancing-fool friend, has been tiring (shaking off that head cold) but speckled with jeweled good times: a Richmond rendezvous with my parents was lots of fun; random bicycling around town keeps me at least a little active; and finding out that I got into a CSA starting in May was great!

I’m ready for spring; and I’m ready for my feet to heal so that I can dance, dance, dance to the music.

--Z